In strengths based counseling when someone comes to a therapist’s office with a big huge problem, feeling like the sum of their big huge problem, we’re going to actively look for what they’re doing right.read more
You know what? It’s not your fault. I don’t want you to beat up on yourself anymore.read more
Here are two things that everyone everywhere needs to know about everyone else: People do the best they can with what they know; and all behavior makes sense when viewed in context.read more
One of my children really liked to make messes when she was small. You take a kid who is curious, who is sensory seeking and who is creative and you get a lot of messes. (Many of you are nodding and sighing and wringing out a sponge ready to clean up your own child’s brand new mess.) This child of mine used to find new ways to use things in weird ways that cause messes. This is how I dealt with it.read more
The adopted children, who were raised in French-speaking Quebec families, had no conscious memory of hearing Chinese.
But their brains responded to Chinese language sounds the same way as those of bilingual children raised in Chinese-speaking families.
Kids who self-injure tend to be particularly emotionally sensitive and vulnerable and suffer from what Dr. Hollander calls “emotional illiteracy.” They can’t name their feelings, let alone formulate a plan for managing and coping with them. Strategies that work with most kids, such as reassurance, minimizing the severity of difficulties, or offering to help them solve problems, can backfire with kids who self-injure.
People who mock fat people are terrified of losing control of their temporarily acceptable lives. They fear dependency and loss of control, of being an object of pity instead of envy. To these human barracuda, being fat is the most visible symbol that you have “failed” at something — health, femininity, upward mobility. And they attack.
“But in fact at the time she took those photographs Rebecca had just been tired, tired in that way a woman with a child and a husband and a house and a job and a life gets tired, so that it feels like a mild chronic illness.”read more
Because it’s not the media or skinny, out-of-proportion Barbie dolls or even peer pressure that is the No. 1 cause of body issues for young girls.
It’s their mothers.
“Moms are probably the most important influence on a daughter’s body image,” said Dr. Leslie Sim, clinical director of Mayo Clinic’s eating disorders program and a child psychologist. “Even if a mom says to the daughter, ‘You look so beautiful, but I’m so fat,’ it can be detrimental.”