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Not fixing is hard

It’s a cliche about men and women — women want men to listen and men want to fix the problem — but the truth is that most of us could do a better job of just listening and reflecting back. Which leads me to this short, funny video:

It’s Not About the Nail from Jason Headley on Vimeo.

It’s so so so frustrating when the problem is obviously right there and the person gets angry when you point it out. It’s especially frustrating when that problem is becoming your problem, too (there at the end of the video). But if you can reflect first and reflect well, sometimes the person you’re talking to will relax enough to let you state the obvious. If they feel validated they may be able to see your good intentions instead of assuming you are trying to dismiss them and push them to a place that they’re not ready to go.

In any case it’s worth a try seeing as how it sure doesn’t work the other way.

difficult child

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  1. Monday Mitzvahs: Listening and Mirroring | Leslie's Illusions - […] Not fixing is hard (columbusfamilycounseling.com) […]

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